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And, so, we begin...

Love background

Loving Unconditionally

December 29, 1998

Love shouldn't make you feel like nothing,
it should let you feel like something.
- Suanne

What we lost here is something better left alone,
second steps have been forgotten,
will you tell me how they go?
Set yourself, situate, like a fool try again.
There’s no one around you can remember
being good, for you.
So shame, shouldn’t try you,
couldn’t step by you and open up more shame.
– matchbox 20

Loving unconditionally is the most beautiful thing a person
can acheive. To know such joy and goodwill is to know
and touch divinity. It is to be one with a
reverant and peaceful light.
– Suanne

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each
other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
– Antione de Saint-Exupery

You don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart
is for...Nothing's fine, I'm torn. I'm all out of faith,
this is how I feel. I am cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
...I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn...
there's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn.
- n. imbruglia

Love is neither a greedy child or a selfless Martyr.
– Suanne

Dramatic sunset sky approaching thunderstorm clouds.

As open as the sky

December 30, 1998

The Character: Maya – The Movie: Kama Sutra
Knowing love,
I will allow all things to come and go,
to be as supple as the wind
and take everything that comes with great courage.

As Rasa would say to me “Life is right in any case.”

My heart is as open as the sky.

When a love, or loved one, is lost and there is pain, you have still had love. Do not be afraid of the feelings that love opens you to. Don’t hide from the possibilities – Open yourself to them, embrace them. Strive for the place in your soul where you can accept the things that come to you, good and bad, first with understanding rather then reaction. Appreciate the things that life and people can offer you. Be open to new ideas, people and new ways of doing things.

Yes, we suffer as we grow and learn in our lifetimes, some more then others. That doesn’t mean that we will always suffer, that everything will bring us pain. Some things will bring us joy and pleasure and we deserve those things, we’ve earned them. Happiness a our right, but we cannot have happiness or true joy by being closed off to the experiences around us.

In the movie Maya learns that having love, even for a short time, is worth whatever pain she suffered from it. And, although her love is taken from her she knows that she must continue to be open to new things or she will not find love again.

When terrible things happen to us we must go on, because if we don’t, if we always struggle against the possibility that something is going to hurt us, we close the doors on the good things that can come to us as well.

Fireplace

Warmth…

March 12, 1999

She rested on a soft bed, quiet, clean and well fed. The Traveller smiled gazing at the hearth and ths soft glow of embers burning there. Today she took refuge in a house that seemed to be an old friend. The gentle folk who welcomed her recognized her at once. Stories drifted of her journey throughout the land. They had always hoped to see her on their road, they’d set aside a special cloak as a gift in preparation.

When she arrived they’d made a special soup of wild greens in broth thick and warm, hot bread with honey sat beside a cup of cider. A perfumed bath had been prepared. Her hair was washed and brushed to a high shine. She was dressed in a new gown of saffron wool, she gleamed like a fairy. So much warmth and comfort, so much goodness and acceptance.

These were people truly blessed for the Traveller spoke, her voice soft and steady, of her journey and of times long ago. There was no question of her wisdom or the truth in her words. The glowing light showed the honesty from within, they were enraptured by what they heard.

And though she would leave to continue her quest, there would always be this warm bed where she might rest. Always welcoming arms to embrace her, always a place to call home.

Beautiful grey dove on tree branch

Even A Caged Bird Remembers How To Fly

July 17, 1999

My love as a dove
flies away from me this night
A sweet bird free to fly in vast open skies.
Caged in my soul it lay quaking,
wounded by its need to soar.

I say good-bye to the gentle bird
and watch as it fades from view.

So beautiful in its glory,
I recall the softness
of its beating heart against my breast
Be safe little bird, be free,
and perhaps one day return to me.

Sunrise and Sea

Acceptance

August 15, 1999

Only you can decide whether to be an outline of the future,or a shadow of the past. – Unknown
Only you can make a choice about change in your life. Only you can listen to your heart and change the way you act and react. Open yourself up to inner dialog through meditation. Ask your heart what it needs. Ask for help and let go of your problems, let your heart answer you.

It doesn’t matter what we do until we accept ourselves.
Once we accept ourselves, it doesn’t matter what we do.
– Charly Heavenrich

I want:
to grow,
to have joy, and
to find success as I define it not by others definitions

Woman touching his lover's neck

Simple Lust

August 1, 2000

I looked at you,
I kept looking at you.

I wanted you,
I still want you.

My heart beat,
thud, thud.

Your neck exposed,
skin so smooth.

My lips throbbed,
aching to kiss you there.

My tongue ached
for a taste of you.

I see that look,
you look at me.

You wanted me,
you still want me.

I want you,
but I’m going now.

Palpable desire,
driven by simple lust.