Today, I ran across this beautiful article “Will I look like my Mother?”, on the Heal Your Life website. The article talks about the beautiful potential of growing older. I’m on the down-slope of my 4th decade, nearly ready for bi-focals and into my fourth year of perimenopause. With my body rapidly changing into that of an “older woman” my ideas about who I want to be as I grow older, and how I want to live the next phases of my life are often on my mind.
In the shower this morning I was considering my self-esteem, where it’s at and how I can improve it. Aging is taking it’s toll on my self-defined value as a woman; At 40, those things I once held onto as my list of attractive qualities began to change, I was no longer young enough to make babies, and I’ve been questioning what I had to offer a partner. It’s never occurred to me to consider that funny, loving, positive, good-natured and devoted might be highly valued qualities until I wrote them out today. I have been afraid, and now, after a few years of running scared from the natural, beautiful, process of life, I accept that I need to create new definitions and ideas about myself to help me shape my future.
The article talks about becoming the Sage, of owning all of your experiences, of becoming more radiant as we age because of the experiences we have accumulated. Like the beautiful quote from Florida Scott-Maxwell.
You need to claim the events in your life
to make yourself yours. When you truly possess
all you have been and done, which may take some time,
you are fierce with reality.
It’s been almost 10 years since I discovered this quote and I am beginning to “get” that it takes a person of a “certain age” to understand what it really means.